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Favorite Song to Dream by:
Oops, I did it again: Brittany Spears (I particularly
like this one because it makes the vein on akri's temple
throb. When he's not around, I play really kewl stuff, but we
don't tell him that. It's much more fun to irritate him.
Favorite Dark-Hunter:
Acheron, but most of them are real tasty even though akri says
I can't barbecue them up anymore because it upsets Artemis. I
say who cares, but akri made me promise so there you go, no DH
barbecue for the Simi.
Squire Status: Well, I'm not really a Squire
because that involves swearing my fealty (what's fealty akri?)
to Artemis. Gimme a break. Never. No, I swear my oath to the
Boss, not the B**** I'm not supposed to say that word because akri said that I am a lady and ladies are not supposed to talk
like that, but all of you know what I mean.
Born:
I was not born, I was hatched.
Birthplace: Katoteros
Motto:Gimme, Ash, gimme. I want it all
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Factoid:
The demon Simi was born on a road trip. The
whole idea of Ash having a symbiotic demon
was divinely inspired. But the only person
who can truly duplicate her accent is Janet
when she's punch drunk.
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The Simi
Hello, I'm the Simi and it is
more than a name it is an attitude. I would tell you what Simi
means, but then I'd have to kill you and though you are probably
quite tasty, Akri gets all cranky when I snack on humans. Akri knows, but
he's not telling neither.
I
have been with akri for a long, long time. How long? I don't know.
It's something like dog years. What is a dog year? I had a dog once,
but I ate him so he didn't last a whole year. He snarled at me and I
thought, hmmm, snarling dog...barbecue which leads me to my favorite
food. Barbecued anything. I used to have a favorite kind of barbecue
but akri says I can't talk about that anymore and that it's off the
menu. He get real upset when the Simi talk about it so I don't talk
about it no more.
Where
was I? Oh, I remember now. I protect akri, but he often says someone
needs to protect him from me. I don't know what he means by
that. The Simi is a good protector. I eat anyone who annoys him.
Anyone who don't like akri...one word for them...barbecue. Sometimes
toast would work, but I find toast too crispy so I prefer barbecue.
As
for my favorite Squire, that Nicky is real nice. I don't want to
barbecue him. But he do look mighty tasty. Akri says I can't say in
public what I really want to do to him so I won't. But he's real
nice to the Simi when she calls so I like him and I won't make him
barbecue.
My favorite
time is now because now no one tries to tie me to a stake and make
barbecued Simi. I did not like them people from long ago cause they
would look at me and scream, then try to exorcise me. Exercising is
good if you are Richard Simmons, but it is not good if you are the
Simi. They did not like the Simi, so the Simi did not like them.
On that note, akri says the Simi has to sign off now or he will take
away my plastic. I like my
plastic--it make people do all kinds of nice things for the Simi. It
gets me stuff. Akri also say if I don't get offline he'll turn off my QVC which would not make me happy and then I would have to barbecue
akri. Since I am very attached to akri, I cannot kill him so I have to
go now. Bye-bye.
Simi found a new
career at Sanctuary
Nicky say
I belong with the Howlers because I was howling.
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